Jokes On Us


fokn_ecg

Kwame Addo is a self-employed, freelance copywriter, photographer and music producer. He works from his late mother’s container, which is also his home. Mr. Quaye is a station master at the Madina transport yard who can barely make ends meet for himself and his two kids. Yaa is a street seller, who plies pure water sachets on congested streets near and around Abelemkpe. Nana Osei is the proprietor of a small school that shares walls with Mr. Quaye’s home. Adjo owns a little provisions shop and bar, serving the needs of the people in her working-class community.

What is common amongst all these people? Well except for the fact that they’re all human and obviously Ghanaian, not much. Oh that’s wrong, there is a connection. Like Pavlov’s dogs, these people’s lives have over the years come to be controlled, here by the theme, Electricity Comes and Goes (ECG).

Only now of course, the electricity hardly comes at all. On the heels of Chimamanda Adichie’s recent op-ed in the New York Times, Ghana’s ECG can absolutely be said to be following in the steps of big brother, NEPA (Never Expect Power At All) in Nigeria, whose name has been changed to PHCN, continuing the former power company’s legacy.

This is Ghana where our dishonorable “honorables” can’t be bothered to even fart their incompetence in our direction.

Read the full thing here.

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Pause


It’s ten to ten, ECG is having a field day – they’ve been at it all week – my internet is especially crappy and my battery power is dancing around 40%. Then there’s my mind, I can’t put it to rest. I’ve been on a caffeine binge this week, hoping to find ways to make the coffee actually keep me awake – I’m kind of regretting it now – so drum roll,

I’m in my word processor.
Life is moving so fast, sometimes too fast that we can’t actually keep track. Maybe that isn’t entirely true, ECG tends to remind us more times than we can thank the universe for, to appreciate stuff going on around, however mundane or exciting.
Have you ever paused to consider the “what ifs”? What if ECG didn’t exist? How would we draw power? Perhaps we would rely on the sun and our current load shedding idiocy would be non-existent? Or like a friend had me thinking, more people could work from home since there is an abundance of electricity or better, a reliable power supply schedule? Imagine if we had the freedom working from home, the flexibility, the ability to get right to a task as the inspiration rains down in torrents.

Imagine how much traffic there would be in town; I could ideally get from Airport West to Accra Central in a matter of minutes at ten in the morning! That will however affect the many hawkers reliant on passengers for their daily bread. Then again, given the abundance of no hawking here signs in town, lots of lives can be saved in the long term. No more risk of death by motorists, from fatigue – hawkers deserve an award for the amount of energy they exhaust just to earn very little income – and very importantly (to me anyway), their humanity.

Urgh! Damn this power cut. Pause, what if we set up a school that focused on technology, surely, they would find solutions to problems as important and yet basic as electricity provision. Oh hang on, there’s KNUST. I wonder what scientific theory is being taught. Hopefully, like magic, our problems would be solved. I dunno.
Pause, man has been on the moon. We’re men too aren’t we? I’ve heard of no black man that’s been on the moon or in space for that matter; definitely no Africans and as real as the power of ECG is to any Ghanaian (excluding Roman Ridge residents), no Ghanaians; be it via a space shuttle or “nye bro” prestidigitations.
I’ve been in my sneakers all day, I need to take them off. Where is my chale wote? Ha! Chale Wote! Pause, there’s beauty all around us; it just takes perspective to see it. There is beauty in art and art is beauty. Do you follow? (I think I lost myself there somewhere). What if the Chale Wote Street Art Festival didn’t exist? That means I wouldn’t see a really dope, artistic impression on the bland, cold blooded, infuriating, degrading and disrespectful “Remove Now” brand AMA so loves to write by Jason Nico-Annnan. The artist gave life to the beauty that is Ama. Note, Ama is the person and AMA the defilers.

 

AMA was here some

 

Pause, what if AMA actually did their job and properly allocated land titles and deeds and whatever nifty paperwork they are mandated to attend to and did away with the back enveloping and palm greasing, there wouldn’t be the need for artists to impress on their boring trademark right? Even better, property owners won’t be baffled by the “Produce Permit” trademark either. I’m just saying.

Pause, when last did you seek permission to go to the bathroom? I don’t remember, although I do recall some silly lecturers demanding students seek their permission before they step out, how silly! I bring this to the fore because of the seeming lack of innovation and creativity in the country. I actu…

[22/02/2016 – Update:I can;t find the rest of this post. Sorry.]

Un-punned Delight


The Electricity Company of Ghana, aka Electricity Comes and Goes when we are constantly toyed with and simply ECG when we get value returns for services rendered has I hope for the better, gone back to it’s original mission of electricity provision with as minimum interruption as possible; in my neighborhood at least.

A while back, they indiscriminately and to an extent very inconsiderately, disrespectfully and tauntingly deprived us of service we were, and still are entitled to.

It was that bad so much that, fuming, I wrote this to express my distraught.

A facebook friend’s post joggled my memory back to a tag-line I had seen earlier. It goes something like ECG, delighting our customers. The irony; at the time at least.

ECG has done something which presently seems very rare, albeit not so previously. They’ve kept a rather consistent supply of power since the start of the Easter celebrations. I am much pleased at this development.

Not meaning to jinx it, I hope they continue delighting (unintended pun) us and not all so suddenly remind us who the real power broker is.

They’ve done well considering the shitty service we’ve had to deal with for a while now.

So ECG, thank you, more grease to your elbows more cables to connect to your substations, and thank you.

Dear ecg


image

Dear ecg
I am Ghanaian and
I can understand that your level of incompetence spans the universe; it is so glaring even with God’s eyes shut, you still send shivers down his spine.
I understand that you operate within an environment in which you hold a monopoly, an environment in which the cost of doing the right thing (like suing your asses or putting y’all in some equally challenging [legal or not] shit), far outweighs (supposedly) the desired result.
I understand that your clients’ minds have long been conditioned into leaving it all in Gods hands, never preparing for anything (let alone the worst) but always hoping for the best.
I understand that you operate within a climate where those with the power to put you on your toes aren’t bothered, afterall, you’re just a convenience and thus they can afford alternatives.
I am sure you’ve read and heard countless other rants like this for soooooo damn long.
So let me get to the point
If you know you’re incapable of doing what you’re paid for, inform us so we know what to do and alter our expectations accordingly.
Don’t give us a schedule if you know very well you won’t stick by it.
Don’t be consistent with a certain kind of terrible service and in one intake of air, change tactics. This is not war, this is not the fucking premier league!
Oh yes the premier league..
I don’t care for soccer but boy do u mess with us all when u show what a champion you are.
You must be playing some league of your own..

Very often u come up with some lame excuse,and I guess because you figure we’re stupid,quickly change it when you realize oh shit..that didn’t come out right, shit is about to hit the fan!
I would have loved to take issue with the government..but you have been pretty much the same for as long as I can remember.
Oh “behated” ecg, either you’re vying for some sorta crown or something…cuz honestly…y’all are the kings of fucking people up…
Argh!
Some advice..its high time you take a cue from all the backronyms assigned to your name.like oh i don’t know….either candle or generator,electricity comes and goes, do that and we’ll understand u and defend you boldly…
So yeah,ecg thanks for killing what little creativity i have left in me!!!
fire burn u muthafuckas!!!!

Sincerely a fed up patron!!